Guarding Sofia, Chasing Sparrow
by VeRo FaLsO
Summary: when the crew of the Black Pearl abducts a young woman, it's Jack's job to make sure she isn't molested by his crew but... before long Jack finds himself wanting to do a lil' molestin' of his own... The LAST CHAPTER!
1. first impressions

this is my first fan fic so please people; have mercy! any ways I rate it and R b/c later on in the story things get "advanced" (lol) well review and write me. thanx.

also: i dont own anything that has to do with pirates of the carribean. the only charecter that's mine is sofia.

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Being a young, rich, and not to mention beautiful, captive on the black pearl is not one of the most pleasant situations you can find yourself in but being the captain of this ship and trying to keeps a crew of men who've been at sea for months from destroying the "kidnapped" girl is a much more difficult predicament (especially when you yourself cannot deny the fact that she is stunning).

Let's start at the beginning...

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Sofia de Madrid was aboard the ship "La Sirena" traveling through the Caribbean to the Spanish settlement in Florida when La Sirena docked to stock up in supplies. It was a beautiful island that Sofia, unfortunately, did not know the name of, but it seemed to be inhabited by nothing but sailors. Well when they docked she was not one to stay aboard when there was an entire city to see. Sadly what she thought would be a city was nothing more than a village and La Sirena was sailing again the next day. Bad move... Pirates!

La Sirena was boarded the next morning by the crew of the ship known only in Spain as: "La Perla Negra" (the black pearl). Sofia knew what kind of men pirates were and what they did to young women, especially wealthy young women.

She bolted down to the last deck of the ship and crawling under a pile of hay, that was kept there for reasons she was not aware of, she tried her hardest not to breathe too loudly. Unfortunately the hem of her red dress had seeped out from under the hay and she was dragged kicking and screaming onto La Perla Negra.

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"Oh, hello, who is this?" said Jack as two of his crew members dragged a hay ridden, red clad young woman into his quarters.

"She's a girl" the shorter one answered being hit over the head by the taller one.

"She's a rich girl, cap'n. We raided her quarters. She was the only lady on the ship. Filled wif' gold coins and books and what not. Don't speak English though. Just rambles in some language. Can't stand it. She's like a demon yellin' at me."

_Ah. Not English. That's why she looks so exotic._ Thought Jack Sparrow.

In his slowest most understandable voice (still not that audible) he asked "Eng-lish?? Hmm?? Little girl? You speak Eng-lish?"

All he got in return was a spit to the face and the word "Bastardo". But he was quick enough to get her meaning. And quick enough to stop one of the men from slapping the girl across the face.

"Leave us men. Good work. Stow the booty in the cargo room."

The 2 men left the room and locking the door Jack told the girl: "look, a wealthy, well-educated young girl like yo'self destined for the new world would not have been spared a few English lessons now you're goin' to answer mi questions, savvy?"

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Sofia knew that this man had seen right through her attempt to play the ignorant fool and resorted to plan b. Begging.

Dropping to her knees and grabbing the man's shirt collar she began to cry and, "Please sir!! Please!! Don't hurt me! My family is rich. They'll send money. I swear it! Santa Maria! Please don't let those men touch me again. Send me home please just don't-.." were the words that escaped her lips before she even knew what she was saying and she could tell that this "captain" was just as shocked at her outburst.

"So then you do speak English." Sparrow answered pulling the girl up from her knees. "I like your accent, what your name?"

"Sofia." She answered letting go of his shirt.

"Was Sofia given a last name or are there none of those in where-ever you come from."

"I am from Spain. My father is Jose Maria de Madrid. I'm sure—" but before she could finish her sentence Jack had his own outburst.

"Jose de Madrid is your pops?? Wah?!?! You are pretty damn wealfy then."

"Yes," she answered, "are you going to take me home? Sir, Capitan, please, those men outside, when they thought I could not speak English, they said things. Do you understand?"

"yeh, yeh, I got it. And none of this 'Capitan' stuff its Jack Sparrow or Bastardo of you like." He answered smiling, "don't worry my men wont lay hand on you if that's what you think. I'll guard you mi'self if ya like. Lock n' key n' all. Lemme show you your room."

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Sofia had been shown to her room and the door was locked. She felt as safe as she could feel being held captive on a pirate ship. She could not get that Sparrow man out of her mind. She tried sleeping but thoughts crept into her head each time she closed her eyes. She would probably spend the night with her eyes open then.

Damn that stupid man!

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Drunk on rum they'd pilfered from that Spanish ship Captain Jack Sparrow could not stop thinking about the girl locked in the room across from his. Even in his drunken stupor he knew what a mistake it would be to simply unlock the door and crawl into the bed he'd personally set for her. With all the sensibility left in is intoxicated mind he stumbled into his own bed for a night of passed out blackness, which would inevitably lead into some risqué dreams about Miss Sofia de Madrid.

Damn that Spanish Girl!


	2. dreamin of dredlocks

_Thump! Knock! Slap! Thump! _

"Hello! Mr. Jack? PLEASE let me out. I am still locked in this room!!"

_thump...Bang!_

"Pero este hombre...Santa Maria!.....(more Spanish rambling)..."

:

Jack Sparrow was awakened to the sound a woman screaming for him and for once it was not because it was the morning after and she was being escorted off the ship.

"Calm yourself girl! I'm coming..." he yelled over to Sofia.

_Where the hell did I leave those damn keys?_

"Thank you." Sofia cried after being unlocked, "but where can I –em' use the bathroom?"

_Oh this is gonna be great_ thought Jack

"Do you really need to go?" he asked in his usual drunken rhythm.

"Yes! Now!"

"Alright well here's the bucket, savvy?" Jack couldn't help but laugh at the look of disgust on Sofia's face, "See you at Breakfast!"

:

"You didn't even tell me where breakfast was!" Sofia called after almost an hour of being out of Jack's sight.

"You found it didn't do?" he asked.

"No... I'm starving."

"Finn! Take the wheel. I'll have some thing prepared for Miss Sofia."

Taking Sofia's hand Jack walked her to the mess hall.

:

Fruit, cereals, wine, milk, bread, juices, honey and eggs were set before Sofia.

"Any-fin' else ya need?" Sparrow asked.

"No, no! It all looks very good! Thank you, captain." She answered smiling.

"Jack! It's Jack! None of 'vat 'Captain" stuff." Jack answered smiling back.

_Black beard! Damn! Look at her. Smile like a brand new bottle of rum...where did I put 'vat bottle?_

In order to stop himself from jumping Sofia jack walked into the kitchen for a bottle of his favorite drink.

_Yoo hoo... Jackie's thirsty... where did I leave 'vat damn rum?!?_

"Get off of me, you Bastard!" _Slap! _ Jack heard Sofia fending some one off.

"Oh, so the little Spanish saint speaks!" it was Robinson's voice – he was the biggest idiot on the whole crew.

"You disgust me, you ugly goon!" _slap! Kick! Slap again_

"So, you like to get rough do..."the goon said.

"Robinson? What are you doin' to my guest?" Jack asked in his soberest voice.

"G-guest? Cap'n?" Robinson asked.

"Yes, you-"_hiccup! _"twit! Get yo' dirty hands off her."

The sweaty man quickly steeped away from Sofia.

"Now," added Jack, "kiss her feet."

"Pardon, Cap'n?"

"Kiss her small, pampered feet." Sparrow ordered.

Forcing himself on to the floor, Robinson pecked each one of Sofia's feet and scurried out of the room.

"Thank you so much Mister Sparrow!" Sofia cried throwing her arms around Jack and Pressing herself against him.

Jack went into a sweat. Women never have this effect on Jack Sparrow! Jack Sparrow was the pimpiest playboy to ever roam the Caribbean! He'd already been with have the tropical female population.

But this was an amazing girl! And she had her chest firmly pushed against his. And what an exquisite chest it was...

"Jack, thank you for taking care of me. I can only imagine what would have happened to me on a different captain's ship." Sofia said.

"It's alright, don't fret." Jack pushed away from her quick enough to conceal the protrusion between his legs. "Uh... I'm going to my quarters, I need a nap. Didn't sleep much. Here's ya key. Yo's is right across the hall form mine."

"Yes, I'll go to mine as well." Sofia answered walking with him to their rooms.

:

Jack was tossing in his bad trying to nap when he came to his decision. He was going to teach that girl something she didn't learn in Spain. He was going to--...

"Jack?" she called while standing over his bed.

"what are ya doin' Sofia?"

Letting her dress drop to the floor to reveal that she wore only a corset and some skimpy underwear she smiled and said, "I came to thank you, Capitano." _He was beginning to like this "Capitano" stuff._ She continued: "you've been so kind to me. I just thought I should repay you." Standing up out-of-syncly Jack took hold of Sofia's shoulders and kissed her roughly with total disregard. Sofia wrapped her arms around his neck and surprisingly shoved him onto the unmade bed. Straddling him as he rubbed up and down her thighs she whispered in his ear "I need you, now!"---

Sofia de Madrid woke up in her own bed sweating and cursing to herself.

_Damn that man! _She thought I_ hate dreaming about him!_


	3. in the rear?

Disclaimer: the usual... R&R PLZ!

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Jack was steering his ship when Sofia arrived dressed in another corseted beautiful red dress _where is she getting all these clothes from_ he thought to himself.

"good morning Jack." She greeted.

but thought: _I hope it's as good a morning as you were in my dream..._

"good morning to you. What brings you up onto the deck so early in the mornin'?" he said

but thought: _why aren't you here all the time just so I can look at ya'?_

"Well I have some questions Jack. Firstly are you really planning on taking me home?" she asked

but thought:_ Don't send me back! I'll stay and be your plaything if you don't!_

"Sure, after we've done some er- uh.. errands. I mean that's what you want and that's what I'll give ya'."

but thought: _I'd give ya' somethin' else too. (wicked grin)_

"Well I would... I mean, uh- thank you. Thank you, Jack." She said.

but thought: _I wish I could thank you the right way!_

The entire day the two seemed to find the tension mounting. Sofia would feel her heart rate begin to quicken and her palms get sweaty everytime she was near Jack Sparrow. While Jack would completely blank out and get tongue twisted when he spoke to her, which would be fine if he could keep his min out of her cleavage and onto the topic at hand. Once he was showing her the view of a few islands out on the horizon and asked her "if she would like it in the rear?", he was talking about the watching the view from the rear of the ship but either way that was not how it had sounded at all.

Days of nothing but sailing gave Sofia time to get to know the crew and read and practice her English and learn new words she'd never hav learned in Spain. The crew, of course, treated her with the utmost respect. After what had happened to Robinson none would think to touch Sofia, but to be on the safe side she made sure never to be totally alone with the crew members if either the first mate or Jack himself were not in the room. That didn't happen too often because she spent most of her time on the top deck because that was where Jack spent most of his time and she found herself more and more often simply looking at him. He seemed so beautiful for a man. His dark features reminded her of the men in Spain, but his attitude, the way in which he carried himself, the way he spoke it was so new and so unreal.

At night fall Sofia contemplated making her dream a reality but she decided that until she knew how Jack felt about her she would leave her thoughts in her head, though, that remark about taking it to the rear did sound odd to her, she truly did not know if Jack felt for her at all. So changing into only her underwear and a shirt Jack had lent her (the 2 crew members who had brought her onto the pearl had forgotten her night gown) she tried to sleep.

In the other room Jack leaned back in a chair with a copy of the key to Sofia's room. He was sure she was asleep and only wanted to look at her. He wanted to know how she slept for some reason.

_Should I? shouldn't I? Should I? shouldn't I? Should I? shouldn't I? I do have the key and I just want a peek... she'll never know.. maybe some rum will clear my mind._

Climbing back down the stairs to where his quarters were, rum bottle in hand, Jack unlocked the door to Sofia's room.

She seemed peaceful, a little too peaceful... WAS SHE DEAD?!?! In his drunken state of mind Jack had to make sure and slowly tiptoeing over to her he leaned into her face- SHOCK! HE COULD NOT HEAR HER BREATHING! Now he had to make sure, what kind of a captain would he be if he didn't? so he leaned in closer, and softly pressed his harsh rum-ridden lips at Sofia's soft ones andhe knew she was alive. She had to have been because she was kissing him back. She wasn't awake but if she oculd kiss this well in her sleep she had to have been a goddess. He pulled back as he realized that she was indeed asleep and heard and "mmm..." escape her throat.

_Ah... so she's a sucker for rum too? The perfect woman!_

The next morning Sofia woke up with the sweet burning taste of rum on her lips and a half empty bottle of "mama juanna" on her night stand.

_Wonder how that got there... mmm..._ she thought _ this IS delicious. I can't remember getting' up to get it last night...**Wonder if Jack's tried this?** it really is good!!_

_It tastes like... like..._kisses! _Is that even a flavor?_

REVIEW PLZ!


	4. drunken behavior

Disclaimer: I don't own nething

Hey guys! R&R, write me.. w/e ne suggestions???

Sofia appeared as the perfect vision of propriety, that is, except for the almost empty bottle of rum in her right hand.

"Jack! Have you tried this- eh... what is this called again?" she called

_Did I leave that in her room??_

"Whot are you doin' wif' that?" he asked.

"Well I am drinking it. And I asked what it was called! It is REALLY good! You should try it!" she said drunkenly swaying a bit (the way Jack did when he was even sober).

_So she's bossy when she's drunk...oh well at least she can hold ha' liquor._

"it's called "mama Juana", it's Dominican. Yes I know it's very good, I bought it – well bought isn't 'va exact word I would use but anyways, whot are you doin' drinkin' in 'va morning? And I thought you was a lady!" he said smiling.

"There are many things you should learn about me Capitano Jack Sparrow." Sofia answered smiling.

Sofia quickly downed the last of the liquid in the bottle. "Oh no! All out? Jack we must sail to the Dominican Republic this instant, I'm sorry. But my journey home must be delayed!" _actually no, I'm not sorry. _

"Sorry but there will be no sailing there today, I've got mi' own stash of the stuff in mi' cabin if you'd like some mo', but I don't think you could 'andle anymo'." He teased.

Sofia shot him a dire glance, "I CAN handle it now show me, please!"

_If she has never had 'vis drink before how does she know she can? Oh well, this time is better than ever to find out._

Jack slowly opened the door to him cabin. This was the second time Sofia had been inside but the first time all she'd wanted to do was leave now, loosened by time and alcohol she was much more eager to stay. It was actually quite nice. Gold medallions, encrusted books, and frames gave the room a Jack-esque look. He walked over to a wall and pushing down on a small spot he managed to open a hidden cabinet. It had seemed small but in reality was incredibly large, she was sure a person or two could fit inside it. He pulled out a bottle very similar to the empty one she held in her hand. He pulled off the cork and grabbing a silver cup poured her some while he drank straight from the bottle. She was smiling like her face was stuck that way.

"so, you must _really_ like rum if it makes ya' that happy!" he said jokingly.

"oh, no. usually I don't even like the stuff but it just – well I woke up in such a wonderful mood and it tastes, it tastes like I've had it before or something."

_Well, well.. I woke up in a wonderful mood too, but not because I woke up with rum on my lips... oh wait... I did..._

The two spent the entire day alone in Jack's cabin telling stories, most of Jacks untrue but amusing none the less. Then when they'd almost finished off 6 bottles and Sofia was only half as drunk as Jack, she decided to retire to her room. Of course what followed was the awkward silence of tension. Sofia wanting to jump Jack but thinking that she was just drunk and Jack wanting to jump Sofia but remembering that she was a girl, not a whore, or a young man (which he was known to bed if he was in the mood) and that he'd probably stab her with his sword (his real sword!) with his drunken stumbling, after all she seemed delicate to him.

"so, I'll uh- walk you to yer room." He said dancing/fumbling to the door.

"good night Jack," Sofia said when they reached her door, "oh I'm sorry to ask now but have you got matches for the lamps?" she added.

"oh, yeah." He said pulling a pack out of his trousers.

She took them and smiled as she closed the door. Jack walked to his room and realized the total darkness.

'_vat's why I had matches! _And he stumbled back to Sofia's room unlocking it as quietly as possible in case she was already asleep. The door opened with out a creek and there was Sofia, red dress fallen down to her ankles wearing only a corset, guarders and panties. Her back was turned from the door so Jack had a few seconds to size her up before she screamed, "Jack!"

_BAM!_ He looked up and tripped over his own feet, taking the nightstand with him, on the nightstand was the lamp and so once more they were in darkness. "Sofia!"

"Where are you?"

"ouch! Mi' leg!"

"Did you hurt it?" _thump! _she had fallen as well, tripped over Jack. "Ouch! Dios mio! Este hombre! Que le passa?!?"

"Please no Spanish! Help me up!" his attempt to get up only ended with another fall.

with that the door swung open and there were Gibbs and Finn with a lamp, and there was Jack on fallen over an unclothed Sofia on the floor.

"Avert your eyes sirs!" Jack commanded but the two men were dumbstruck, now they knew why the cap'n had been so headstrong about keeping hands off his "guest".


	5. cabin girl!

Ok guys u know the usual.... Ps: answer my question at the bottom after u've read it.

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Jack knocked the door closed with his foot as he struggled to keep a half naked Sofia out of his crew members' sights.

"well Sofi, it seems we find oursev's in a very interestin' situation" Jack mentioned as a sly grin crawled across his face.

She said nothing. She was shocked having been in almost nothing, underneath a very intriguing Captian Jack Sparrow.

Jack slowly bent his head towards hers, his lips brushed hers- once, twice, and then they stayed there he sucked on her bottom lip and she returned his kiss unsurely.

He began let his hands wander, as they often did with out his notice, and slowly explored her thighs, then lowly with caution he moved up to her exposed breasts.

She moaned into his mouth and he took hat as a good thing. To Jack Sparrow moans were either gratitude or encouragement so his hands trailed back down to her hips. He panties which he hooked his thumbs in and began to slowly pull down—

This is where the story turns to Jack's disliking...

He felt a very distinct push at his chest that sent him slamming to his side.

"Jack Sparrow, I will not be your cabin girl!" were the words he'd hoped he didn't hear, "What kind of a woman do you think I am?"

"Listen Sofia, I really like you!" oops... wrong words!

"If you really liked me you would not have tried that! Have you been around only whores so long that you've forgotten how to not... not.."

"Not whot love?" he interrupted.

"Not make a complete ass out of yourself?!" Sofia answered. By now she had Jack's shirt on and was trying to de-exposed herself.

"Im sorry, love, really. I di'int know! I thought we was havin' fun, 'vat's all."

"No you thought it'd be easy to lay the little Spanish girl because you rummed her up all day."

_Jack loved her accent, that rolling "rrr" of her r's drove him crazy!_

"no no... I mean I di'int, I mean.... Bloody hell! I take it you want me to leave?..."

"yes please, I'm sorry but.. good night _Jack_."

Jack turned around and walked out of the room, forgetting his matches once again!

She watched him leave the room and frowned, as much as she wanted him—all of him, she knew who Jack Sparrow was and she was quite shocked that she cared.

Jack entered his room and after removing his clothes and boots (hey you didn't think Jack Sparrow wore PJ's did u??! hellz no! he don't even wear underwear!) climbed into bed. He couldn't sleep but lay there anyways.

Her words ran through his head. Why hadn't he asked first? He always asked virgins! She had to be a virgin right? But then again,

"if you really like me you wouldn't have tried that...."

He'd made her feel like a cabin girl? That drove him crazy. She wasn't a whore and he did like her... what was wrong with him.

He closed his eyes...

The door opened.

"not now Gibbs, and leave the girl alone..."

footsteps, then the door closed. He didn't open his eyes.

"GIBBS! I said not now!"

Jack felt a pressure upon his arms which were behind his head. His eyes whipped open. They found a beautiful sight. Sofia holding his arms down and straddling him.

"Whot?!"

"I take it back..." she whispered and gently nipped at his ear.

The best part is... this time it's not a dream....

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ok guys R&R

hope u liked it.

Question: do I continue from here????


	6. bad night to be the headboards

Ok review, don't flame me if its bad!

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_Not dreaming... please not a dream... or drunk. Please not a dream or just drunk..._

These were the thoughts of Captain Jack Sparrow as he lay in bed allowing a scantily clad foreign girl take full advantage if him.

"jack." She would whisper in his ear as he nibbled at her neck, both of them grinding away.

He was naked (as he often was) but she was wearing her underwear and his shirt. His hands on her ass he pushed her closer to him and his aching need. Sofia knew it but she was going to take charge, he was going to be her little cabin boy tonight.

Pulling back and giggling she reached for the scarf that lay on the floor. "let's have a little fun Jack."

"whot are you doin' wif' that?" he asked trying to catch his breathe.

"oh Capitano! Trust me.. do I need to pay you? Please don' make me treat you like a little whore!"

the idea was attractive to jack but he refrained from mentioning it.

Taking the scarf in both hands she blind folded him. And slowly kissed her way down his chest. She stopped at his hip bones which so beautifully stuck out on his lean body, planting soft kisses and hard bites she eventually found her way even lower.

"Well!!! Captain! You know I hadn't gotten a good look at it until now but to tell the truth I thought your secret was socks...I was wrong I apologize. Hmm..." she kissed its head softly and heard her captain let out a soft moan.

She truly was shocked at his size... he was such a slender man, what was he doing with this in his pants?

She slowly began licking and kissing his hard shaft and before long he wasn't able to take it.

"sorry luv," he said flipping her underneath himself, "but im the man." ;;wicked grin;;

he roughly tore open the shirt she wore (hey it was his anyways) exposing her chest completely. He took one nipple into his mouth and softly sucked it until she had her hands on the back of his head.

"are you a virgin, lovely?"

"maybe..."

"now whot kind of an answer is 'vat?"

"the kind you're going to have to figure out for yourself!"

he only grinned and worked his mouth down to her thighs.

Spreading her legs carefully he kissed her softly.

"it's going to 'urt. But I'll try to be nice to ye."

She only smiled and said "I don't care." He looked into her eyes and entered her slowly. He held her gaze until he was fully inside her, she winced because it had hurt! he slowly thrust in and out until she seemed to feel only pleasure. She closed her eyes and he thrust again and again, slowly at first and then it quickened.

"JACK!"

"SOFIA!"

(adding a few saints, Spanish ramblings and words jack had made up and u have the dialogue of the night)

his thrusts came harder and quicker and she moved her wide hips in tune with his. He legs were now wrapped around his torso and her arms around his neck. Their shouts were heard through out the ship but every one knew it was bound to happen sooner or later...

Sofia woke up the next mornings still holding him. Jacks entire body seemed to be covered in marks that hadn't been there before. Bites at his hips, scratches on his back and shoulders, bruises on his arms and thighs. Wow she had been rougher than she thought (well it hurt at first godammit!) yet he'd managed to leave her virtually spotless, except of corse for the aching she had in her back, the man was rather rough on the head boards as well.


	7. Marraiges and the father of the Strumpet

Hey guys, don't kill me for this chapter, I promise it's for a good reason!

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_Where do we go from here?_

_Turn all the lights down now_

_Smilin' from ear to ear_

_My breathing has got too loud..._

_-Blink182_

"Jaaack.... Jaaack... Capitano loco...." Sofia whispered over into Jacks ears as he still slept. How would she wake him up? She needed to speak to him urgently. And then she remembered the little closet. She found the space on the wall and opened it the way Jack had before. She grabbed the first bottle she found and walked over to the bed. She quickly took a swig of it and deeply kissed the man in the bed.

"mmm..." Jack opened his eyes, "well, shame on you! Not only do you wake me up at this insane hour of the morning but you've also stolen me best bottle!"

"Jack it's three in the afternoon." _Ah_, Jack loved that rolling "rrr" she spoke with... what the hell was he thinking?! He was Jack Sparrow! He doesn't love anything except his ship... and the way Sofia screamed his name... _stop that!_ He thought to himself but it was quite obvious that he had lost his mind completely so he didn't deny it anymore.

"Jack I need to speak to you."

"About whot lovely? Hmm?? Don't tell me you want it again... you wore me out last night." He threw himself back on the bed and laughed she did not.... "Oh, don' be like that! Whot's wrong? Hmm??"

"You can't take me back to Spain, or back to Florida! Please Jack..."

"Well, firstly, why not? And secondly, what gave you the idea that I was takin' you anywhere? What if I wanted to send you off to tortuga and pimp you from there, or maybe, maybe I'll keep ya here on my ship chained up in my bed..."

This time she did smile, "Well Captain, I just assumed that after you had taken advantage of a poor, intoxicated virgin that you might take her home the way you said you would."

"Well ya' just told me you didn't want to go back, so it seems I have no choice but to keep you here with me for some pleasurable company..." he grinned mischievously at her, some thing he was doing more and more often. "But anyways tell me why I shouldn't take ya' back to good ol' St. Augustine."

She got very serious and turned her face away from him. It took her a long time to answer.

"At... there... um....At St. Augustine if I don't agree to marry some man I've never met then I will be taken to a nunnery to... well... become a nun."

_Marry who? NUN??? no no... this girl hs some natural abilities that i will not let go to waste in some convent_! Jack thought, but he simply decided on saying, "It kind of defeats the purpose of nunnifying ya' if you're here wif' me, luv."

"I know... I know, but I don't want to marry this man and I don't want to give up my whole life because my father says I must. Do you understand Jack?"

"Yeah, I get it... well do you even know the bloke's name, I mean how old is he?"

"Well I know that he is very old! Very old, Jack. He wants a wife Jack and he has a daughter my age, but my father was willing to send me there because the man has some power. He's not from St. Augustine, I'm only going there to meet him and be married in a Catholic church, another thing my father says I _must_ do."

"Well then where is he from? And you still haven't given me any name."

Sofia glanced at him awkwardly. Her eyes were sad and she didn't want to answer him. "He lives in Port Royal..." she looked him in the eyes for the first time since she'd begun. "His name is Weatherby Swann."

"The Governor?!?!"

"Yes..."

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Review and send me any suggestions!!


	8. No nudity in rum closets

A/N: hey, so yeah, quite a shocker that she's supposed to marry the Governor... yes EW EW EW EW!!!! You'll just have to see what happens next.

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"Governor Swann? Your father _wants _you to marry that ol' bugga?" Jack was in shock, but then again when he thought about the things _his_ parents had wanted out of _him_ it didn't seem too strange.

"Well," she answered, "My father says how wealthy he is, how much prestige it would bring to our family. I don't understand we have money and power in Spain."

"Sometimes home isn't enough for people."

"I was enough for me..." Sofia tried to hold back her tears. She loved her father AND she DEFINITELY did not want to cry in front of Jack but why would her father want this for her?

"Now now love, don' be sad..." he really didn't know what to say to her, "Well, I won't have you married and I won't have you a nun!" he smiled widely. "But we _do_ have a problem."

"What?"

"Well he goes by Commodore Norrington... quite an irritating man. The good Brits in Port Royal'll know you were taken by pirates and no doubt the dear Commodore will jump at the chance to impress the governor by rescuing his bride to be. He's still in love with the governor's daughter so if in case they do come after me you'll 'ave to be hidden."

Sofia truly didn't know where she would hide or why they would make such a fuss over her being captured, after all her father had other daughters to send of to the Carribean... but maybe it was just that she was doing some wishful thinking.

"Where, Jack?"

Jack simply pointed at the wall.

"With the RUM?!?" she asked, "How am I supposed to fit in there?"

"You'll fit, yes with the rum. It's bigger than you think, and you won't be wearin' one of these giant dresses you like so much." Jack answered picking at her very posh red dress.

"Oh? And what would you have me wearing? More of your own clothing?"

"That, yes, or you'll be naked."

_SLAP_

"Oy!" Jack yelped rubbing his cheek. "OR you could just smack the bejesus out of Norry, that's be great too."

"Jack, when you hide me I will be fully clothed because if I am found it will look very terrible on your behalf to have the Governor's betrothed naked in your Rum closet."

"True."

"You know what always shocks me love?"

"What Jack?"

"You speak English so well..."

"The result of 8 years of lessons with the most attractive teacher I'd ever seen."

"Not including my self, of course."

"What have you taught me?"

"I taught ye how to yell my name just right!"

_SLAP_

"You really need to stop that!"

"Oh, but I think you like it!"

"that's not the point." Jack answered trying to sound serious, "I think you like when I do this," as he spoke he began slipping a hand under her dress, up her skirt then to rub her thigh. "but I don't do it every second because if I did it would lose it's effect."

The door swung open,

"I'm very sorry Cap'n – Jesus, Mary, and Joseph can't you keep yer hands off each other fer 5 minutes?!"

"See what I mean," Jack commented "What is it Gibbs?"

"Naval Ship off the starboard side flaggin' us down, we need ye up on deck!"

"Stay here Sofia! And please, don't do anything... stupid."

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A/N: REVIEW! I wanna know wut u guys think of it so far.


	9. cabin boys r the way to go

"If it isn't Jack Sparrow... I thought you'd still be on the Black Pearl."

"It's Captain! And no, I – uh- well this one came into my possession after the Pearl sank. Blowin' 'oles in people's ship tends to make them do that Norry, dear."

"It's Commodore Norrington, and I didn't track you down because I missed your 'unique' conversational skills, I came to enquire the whereabouts of a girl."

"Oh, you mean Ms. Swann; I do believe she may preoccupied helping my friend Mr. Turner with his trousers..."

"You will not speak of Elizabeth like that!" Norrington's face was turning that shade of red that Jack knew far too well. "I came to ask about a Spanish girl, Sofia de Madrid. I do believe that pirates raided the ship she was traveling on, and knowing these waters and your taste, I'd say you had something to do with it."

"Apparently, Commodore, you know nothing about my taste I'm not one for Spanish girls, they're just too pretty. I do prefer the skinny, pale, oh and don't forget stuck up Governor's daughters. That Swann harlot has such..."

"I said you would not speak Elizabeth in that manner! She is not a Harlot and if you utter a word about her again I will not regret taking you to be hung like the pirate you are!"

"Why are you so uptight Norry? You're not a eunuch are you? I've heard you do have a lovely singing voice..." Jack said bringing his eyes down to Norrington's trousers. The Commodore just maintained his face's shade of red.

"Search the ship, men! Beginning with the good Captain's quarters!"

Sofia heard footsteps coming down the hall as she stood in Jack's cabin.

"Oh, but it's such a mess in there..." Jack shouted as he came closer to the door, "you really don't want to go in there!"

Sofia took this as her signal to enter the rum cabinet. She squeezed in, and Jack was right she _did _fit. She and her big dress. She figured as long as she was in there she might as well have some thing to drink. It wasn't like a little alcohol was going to matter if she were caught.

"Alright, alright men, begin your search of the rest of the ship. Lieutenant Gillette, stay outside the door until I tell you otherwise. Alert me if the men finish their search before I exit this room. I'll stay here with Mr.– er- Captain Sparrow." Said the Commodore. As much fun as it was searching through Jack's dirtly laundry he could find nothing in this room.

"That's right mate, now you're gettin' in the swing of it! Doesn't it sound lovely? '_Captain Sparrow'_. Oh say it again Norry..." Jack was beginning to ramble.

"Shut up Sparrow! Where is the girl?" All of Norrington's men had left.

"Commodore, I told you there ain't no girl on this ship. Bad luck to have a lady on a ship, ye' know—'sides I do fancy boys while at sea." Jack joked putting his arm around Norrington and raising an eyebrow in his direction, obviously making him uncomfortable.

This whole time Sofia sat in the closet... _fancies boys does he??? _She held back her laughter as hard as it was.

Norrington was busy still interrogating Jack in the room.

"Jack, I know she's somewhere on this ship! There were at least 10 men who witnessed this ship sailing away after taking the girl." In reality it had been 2 but if Sparrow thought there were more then maybe he'd confess quickly, if he would at all.

"Listen, dear Commodore, I told you, there are no women on my ship..."

_BRILLAINCE!_

Norrington had a grand idea. Jack's ships were famous for a few things but the one which did him any good at this moment was the various secret passages in which Jack hid rum, whores, prisoners, and the occasional cabin boy in. So James Norrington began his knocking on the walls of the Captain's quarters. Jack knew what he was doing immediately.

"Ye' don't wanna be doin' that mate!"

_Knock! Tap! No this side isn't hollow._

"Stop that Norrington!"

_Bang! Knock! Not this one either._

"Commodore! I say Commodore!"

_Aha! This ones it..._

With one last punch to the wall Norry found the handle/latch to open the wall.

There was a young – uh?- "Lady" didn't seem to be the right word with in the cabinet he found. Red dress hiked up to her upper thighs, a low-cut collar gave both men an easy eyeful of cleavage, each hand held a bottle of what looked like Caribbean rum, big brown eyes and dark, long, curling hair framed a face that smiled relentlessly at the Commodore and the Captain. This girl did not seem old enough, or quite fit to become the Governor's wife.

"uh... Sofia de Madrid?" the Commodore asked a little shocked.

"No! No!" interrupted Jack, "This is my –erm- cousin- couin's sister's son's second wife's half-sister twice removed... See the relation in the eyes???"

"Yes, yes!" Sofia giggled, as she widened her eyes. She had almost topped off ¾ of a bottle in there and was quite tipsy.

"What is your name miss?"

"My name? It's- well..."

"Is that an accent I detect?"

"No!" Jack interrupted once again "No! The poor girl's a little slow. Out her head, really. Her words tend to slur and whot-not."

"Let the girl speak for herself, and get out of that closet please!" demanded Norrington.

"Jack is telling you the truth!" Sofia managed to say while trying to sound as much like her British English teacher as possible.

The Commodore was convinced that there was no blood relation between Jack Sparrow and this girl who was desperately trying to fool him while drunk. He walked to the door and opened it, "Gillette, bring me the portrait of Ms. De Madrid. I've made an interesting discovery in Mr. Sparrow's quarters."

Jack wasn't sure what Norry was telling his errand boy but he was sure he heard his name NOT preceded by "Captain".

Norrington turned around and sized up Sofia once more. She was sitting cross-legged on Jack's bed. She was looking rather intriguing and both men noticed it. Minutes later Gillette knocked on the door.

"Enter, Lieutenant"

Gillette was taken back at the sight of a ravishing young woman on Jack Sparrow's bed. Sofia de Madrid to be precise. She was the same girl from the small portrait he held in his hand. Grabbing the picture and holding it up next to the face of the girl who was smiling brightly and offering some rum to Gillette.

"Just as I thought." Said Norrington as he confiscated the rum Gillette had taken happily.

"Young lady, please make yourself decent" he continued, eyeing her legs as her dress was still hiked up to her upper thighs, "gather your things, you're coming with us."


	10. need a tictac?

hey guys! I realized that I've never thanked all u guys who review so... 2 my reviewers (itd b kinda irritating 2 list al of u) THANKS!!! Much luv 2 all of u hoo read my stories!

luv nat – on to the story...

Chapter 10:

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! DIOS MIO! HAHAHAHAHA!!" Sofia had to wipe the tears from her eyes. She was the first to admit that she was a _tad_ tipsy but even if she were sober it'd be hilarious to think that she was going anywhere with this Commodore What's-His-Face.

Of all the responses Commodore Norrington would have expected being laughed at was not one of them. He was serious. Yes, she was young and had been found drunk in Jack Sparrow's bedroom but she was still betrothed to the Governor!

Gillette happened to think it was quite amusing watching yet another too-young-too-pretty girl laugh in the Commodore's face. If he remembered correctly Elizabeth spared no opportunity to do the same when she was much less intoxicated—actually she did it a lot when she was sober, too.

Jack was the only one in the room thinking of eunuchs. Why did he always suspect an "incapacitated" man had something to do with his dilemmas? It was probably just the fact that everything else about this situation was so ridiculous that he couldn't help but be his normal insane self about it. After all there was no way Sofia was going to do anything she didn't want to. And then she said it! Said those words that meant she had to be drunk...

"Commodore Norrington- it is Commodore isn't it? I will NOT be going with you anywhere but you are such a pretty man, it seems a shame! Don't you agree Jack? After all you _do_ fancy boys while at sea, right? HAHAHAHAHA!..." ...more laughter... How had she managed to finish off the last of that bottle? And then, as if that weren't enough she added, "Oh, Jackie! Please share the Commodore with me! HAHAHAHA!!" she did have a nice laugh though.

"MISS DE MADRID!" Norrington demanded attention, "as tempting as your offer is you are coming with us and meeting your husband-to-be, who is a good man and governor! So there will be no more talk of such things!" _English repression in all its glory..._

But Sofia didn't want to go with the naval stiffs and she wasn't one to be bullied so she knew what she had to do—either kill them (which wasn't likely) or plan B.

Plan B—yes, if there was one thing she'd learned while on a pirate ship it was that sailors couldn't resist a charming girl with long legs, breasts (as long as they were there), and a pretty face. Hooray! Sofia had all that and then some—she did, after all, have a way with words! So she went into "seduce the tight ass Commodore" mode.

"Commodore," she began, "you want me to come with you? Well you're going to have to be much nicer to me than Jack here has been!" needless to say Jack was speechless (for once!!).

Sofia made her best pouty face and looked up at the Commodore with big doe eyes.

"Can I speak to you privately Commodore Norrington?" she glanced over at Jack and signaled him to the door. Jack trusted her and led Gillette, who seemed very entertained, out of the room.

As soon as the door closed the Commodore asked urgently, "What do you mean? Have these _pirates_ taken advantage of you?" he seemed honestly worried.

"Oh no, Commodore! You heard Mr. Sparrow yourself, Cabin boys and all." Jack was going to hear about that joke for the rest of his life. Sofia was going to have to have to do this right if she was going to do it at all, so she positioned herself on Jack's bed just right, she wanted to look inviting but not make him think he was invited. "There are just certain things a woman needs that _I_ haven't been given... In my home in Spain it was a _daily_ necessity." She said this putting her hands on his shoulders as now he sat next to her on the bed. "I couldn't ask this of a pirate, do you understand Commodore? I can tell you're a proud man, a good, honest man who's proud of his good looks, I know you can give me what I'm asking for." She smiled.

"Ms. De.."

"Please call me Sofia, I feel so safe around you Commodore!" she squealed as she actually hugged him.

"Sofia," he felt badly and rubbed her back.

_Why am I so bad?_ She thought as she lifted her head to look at him, "Can't you smell it on me? Please let me have what I need, Commodore!" she leaned a little closer into him and, just as she'd planned, he kissed her.

It really was quite pleasant and soft and nice so she was going to feel very badly for what she was about to do. She leaned back onto the pillow and they continued to kiss but then-

"AAAAHHHH!!!" she screamed, "Jack!!! Commodore what were you doing?!" Both Gillette and Jack entered the room and saw Norrington bent over Sofia on his bed! It was actually a little funny.

"I, I... err- uh..." Norry couldn't even get two words out.

"Commodore I was simply asking for a toothbrush! Pirates don't use them! I thought you knew what I was talking about!" he backed away from her and off the bed, her breath seemed fine to him.

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea!"

"Don't be sorry Commodore, it was nice, but now you and your men must leave!" she demanded.

"Yes, yes Norry, do leave." Jack interrupted, "After all, it doesn't seem that trying to take advantage of his Wife-to-be would sit right with the Governor. I'll keep this a secret if you'll keep Sofia's whereabouts to yourself."

The Commodore thought about it, "Gillette, gather the men. We are leaving. Good day Captain Sparrow. Good day Sofia."

"Good day Commodore!" Jack replied.

"-and please return with more of those 'things I need'." She smiled and added. He really was a good kisser and alcohol loosens the tongue so well.

_**Outside the room**-_

"Gillette, you saw nothing, do you understand. The girl drowned at sea as far as you're concerned."

"Yes, Commodore." the lieutenant answered trying to hold back his laughter.

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A/N yes they had tooth bushes back then, though I'm not sure what they were called or what they looked like.


	11. cat fight!

Thanks for reviewing and some familiar faces enter the story in this chapter...

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The weeks progressed quite nicely. No word from the Commodore and Sofia began to love the ocean. She'd made friends with each of the men who crewed the ship, even the one who'd been so rude to her that first day aboard. Robinson was what everyone called him; she would never learn his first name. He always apologized profusely over his behavior when they first met and she was always certain to make sure he looked his best before leaving for port. Actually she did that for every man on the crew. It was sort of nice when she saw them flirting about with the women. She liked to keep them happy and word did spread quickly that Jack Sparrow's crew were the best looking pirates to sail the sea (even the older, toothless ones). She also taught Gibbs how to keep those GIANT sideburns of his nice and tidy.

In addition to the crew were the go-buck-wild nights. Jack was often on the receiving end of cat calls in the morning. None of the men would dare speak that way to her but she couldn't help laughing when Jack was being asked, "So Cap'n, how was _your_ night?" Sofia still had her own room but it was nice to wake up next to Jack even if he did talk in his sleep. It wasn't just nice to wake up next to Jack it was nice to fall asleep next to Jack and undress Jack, and watch Jack undress, everything which would happen when they were alone in Jack's Cabin or in her cabin or up in the crows nest or down in the galley or on the deck or in the mess hall or even in the rum closet... yes she was enjoying her time at sea.

Jack was also learning a lot about the ways of women from Sofia. She was so intelligent, and wasn't rudely intelligent like a certain Strumpet, but clever and learned quickly. He had finally convinced her to ditch the red dresses she was so fond of and put on some breeches if she wanted to work on his ship (which she did). She was actually a gift from heavens when it came to mending sails.

And then she was to meet the Turners...

As fate had it William Turner was heading for Tortuga when word got to the Jack that he and the little Swann wench requested his company aboard their ship—the interceptor II (call it a very nice engagement present from the good folks of Port Royal). Though Jack was tempted not to "aquiest their request" he decided it would be nice for Sofia to see Will and who exactly Commodore Norrington wanted had been engaged to, since she was so fond of him. That was what really got Jack when she wanted something and he wouldn't hear of it: "Oh... that Commodore was so quick to give me _whatever_ I wanted..." usually what she was asking for was bedroom wise. He was beginning to think nothing could satiate this girl's thirst!

----

"Jack? Why are you all of a sudden having me wear a dress?"

he'd told her to put one on for him before they'd docked, and as much as she didn't want to think it, maybe he was going to leave her in Tortuga for all the eunuch jokes she'd made? _Doubtful..._

"we're goin' to visit some friends of mine's and the dear the Commodore's."

"Oh? And I thought you were going to trade me in for a Cabin Boy!"

She really wasn't ever going to forget that comment! It was too priceless!

----

"Alright we're here!" Jack said, "The Interceptor II." He smiled at her; after that little comment about the Cabin boy he'd scared into thinking it was true. She started getting that it was a joke after a while.

"William Turner, get your Blacksmith self out here!"

Sofia watched as one of the most handsome men she'd ever seen rose out from the ship and smiled at the both of them. He was beautiful in a way that was different from Jacks beauty. She liked Jacks better. He was dirty and real and everything she'd been taught was bad but this man who still resembled a boy seemed like an angel dropped from the sky. He was clean. Fine, dark features, she thought of the all the people of Spain. She didn't miss Spain as much as she should've. He was a little too perfect for her liking.

"Jack!" the man hugged the captain, something he was obviously not prepared for.

"Look at ye' Lad! Your taller and I be takin' a likin' to these hats of yers!"

"Thank you. Who is this young woman you've brought with you Jack?" the "Lad" asked.

"This is the bonny lass: Sofia de Madrid!" all of a sudden the other man became very sullen,

"That's not funny Jack, do no speak of the dead that way."

"I'm not jokin' William... Sofi meet Will Turner!"

"Does she speak english Jack?" Wasn't William shocked when not only did she turn out to be Ms. de Madrid but she spoke English very well?

"Yes, I speak English! Why would he be speaking in this language if I didn't?" she didn't like when people assumed things about her.

"My apologies, I did not mean to insult you." Will replied.

_Alright he said he was sorry, now I can be sweet to him._ "Thank you Mr. Turner." She smiled that pretty smile that seemed to win people over, "May I ask why you thought I was dead? I am obviously not."

"Well, that's what word was when the Commodore returned empty handed form searching the seas for you." Sofia had to giggle at that. "Jack," Will continued, "You know Elizabeth will be furious don't you?"

"Why do you think I brought my good girl with me?"

_This is not going to be good._ Both Sofia and Will knew it.

Jack was ginning ferociously as Elizabeth exited onto the deck to spot Jack, Will and a too-pretty girl talking out side...

----

"What do you mean _she_ is Sofia de Madrid? She is supposed to be dead!" she said eyeing Sofia in disgust.

"It means exactly what he said Ms. Swann! Who did you think I was?" Sofia could take no more of her looks tonight she wanted to get back to Jack's ship, that or break Elizabeth's pouty little face! "Did you really think I was going to marry a man who could've been my father?"

"Listen here you little trollop! I could care less if you drown right now-"

"TROLLOP?!? English may not be my mother tongue but if you think I don't know what that means then think again!"

"I was sure you knew what it meant, people probably call you that all the time!"

They'd been fighting like that since Sofia had been introduced to Elizabeth. Elizabeth immediately assumed Sofia had whored herself out to Jack (and his entire crew) in order to dodge marrying her father, and that she'd only come to their ship to steel Will away from her from the looks he'd been giving Sofia.

Jack liked watching them fight, it was quite entertaining. He knew Elizabeth had a quick tongue and Sofia was hot-blooded, plus both the women were short tempered. Despite Will's best attempts to pry them apart and not to glance at Sofia quite so often they continued to fight for what seemed like forever. Jack could've stayed there all night.

"No wonder the Commodore tried to take advantage of me, if you're all they have in Port Royal!

Elizabeth was furious, "and you probably welcomed him with open legs, you hussy!"

"How dare you speak that way?! As far as I can see you're the only hussy on board this ship! You had to have been to bring in a young man like Will, it's not like you've got anything else going for you!"

Elizabeth immediately looked down at her obviously lacking chest and lunged for Sofia's hair; "I'm going to pull out your pretty little Spanish locks so quick-"

With that Will and Jack grabbed Elizabeth's arms.

"Elizabeth darling, please calm down-"

"Shut Up Will!!!"

Jack dragged her into the next room while Will stayed to help Sofia. As it was Elizabeth had grabbed at her hair mercilessly.

"I'm very Sorry Sofia, she really is a nice girl."

"so am I." she tried to smile at Will but decided that she had smiled at him enough that night and didn't want to give _anyone_ the wrong idea. "Is it really my fault I didn't want to marry her ancient father?"

"No, I don't suppose it is..." he seemed to not believe her or to be distracted

"I didn't whore myself out, if that's what you think!" she obviously didn't know Will would never have thought that.

"I don't think that. I'm just looking at you. Why would any one expect to want to marry Governor Swann?" he really did think it was funny to expect anyone to think Sofia would marry an old badger like Swann.

"Why don't you ask your beloved Elizabeth?"

"Don't say that..."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be harsh."

"No, it wasn't that... it was—remember what you said about the Commodore?"

"Yes, I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

"No it was true..."

"What?"

"What do you think she's trying to do to Jack in there?"

"Pull his hair out?"

"No, she's probably telling how sick she is of me and how she wants to go home."

"She's not sick of you! She almost bit me over you!" Sofia insisted.

"She only wanted a fight. She hates me. I don't know why but she says she tires of me. She's actually probably trying to get into Jack's breeches right now."

"what?!"

"I should not have said that!" Will yelped bringing his hand over his mouth.

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a/n: wow I think that one was kind of long... Review!


	12. more misunderstandings

Hey guys up to part 12, I thin k after this whole thing with Will and Elizabeth is over I might end this saga. This chapter isn't the last but ill probly also do another story about jack and sofia.

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"Oy! Poppit! What are ye' doin'?!" Jack tried to whisper.

"What does it look like I'm doing Jack? Everyone knows of Jack Sparrow's er-_endowments_, I just want to see for my self. Damn Belt!..."

"No no no, any other day I'd say sure but with Sofia and Will in the next room and what not, Savvy?"

"Sofia?! Jack..." she said running her fingers over his shoulders and pouting, "...how long have you actually known this girl? How do you know she's the angel you think she is? I saw the way she looked at Will, so did you... now just let me see it!"

"'Lizbeth, luv, I like you..._a lot_..." he smiled at her as if to soften what he was about to say, "...you're a pretty girl ..." he was lying through his shimmering gold teeth, "...and Sofia- Sofia is..." he leaned into her,

"Yes, Jack?"

"...smarter, and true and I'd rather spend my time with her than showing the family jewels off to a strumpet like yo'self!"

"JACK SPARROW!"

---

"Esa puta!" Sofia could not control herself.

She and Will heard a thumping, they heard Elizabeth calling Jack's name in addition to some very unladylike words, and needless to say they thought the worst.

"Sofia, I don't think-"

"Will-..." She was trying her hardest to compose herself, "Does she do this _often_? Does she simply see a man she can't have and throw herself at him?"

"How do you think we got together?" Sofia was shocked, she thought Elizabeth (or "la estupida puta albina" as she liked to think of her) had chosen Will based on looks alone.

Then Will continued, "I was a poor blacksmith whom her father would never approve of and she knew how I felt- feel, how I feel about her." Will seemed just as upset as Sofia except he'd had to live with it for months now.

But then she had an idea, there was still rocking and noise coming from the next room so she thought she'd take the opportunity to strike up a deal with mr. Turner. "William, I have a proposition for you, will you hear me out?"

"Sure, as long as you never call me 'William' again!"

---

_**We didn't want to disturb your fun, meet us at the 'flying barrel' pub for dinner. **_

_**-Will and Sofia**_

Jack didn't understand why they would have left with out both he and Elizabeth and what fun were they talking about? He'd finally hog-tied her to a chair and convinced her to calm down when he opened the door to discover that they were alone on the ship.

"Listen, Ms. Swann, your Willy and milady have gone off to start dinner with out us. Now promise you won't fret or try to tear m' trousers off like before and I'll untie you."

She nodded at him and he slowly let her free.

"Where are they?" she asked.

"I'll take ye'. They left a note." Jack responded holding up the piece of crumpled paper. She recognized Will's handwriting.

When Jack and Elizabeth finally made it to the pub (Elizabeth had gone back on her word and tried to tackle him in an alley or two) they caught sight of Will and Sofia looking very cozy at a table. Will had his arm around her and was whispering to her while she smiled. Jack held Elizabeth back and continued watching them. He noticed that Will's other hand was set quite firmly on her thigh. She laughed a little, it wasn't a fake laugh either, it was _real_. He only watched as she laid a very soft kiss on Will's cheek. Jack—once again—found himself speechless.

Elizabeth finally got out of his reach and stormed over to the table at which the two sat.

Trying very hard to keep her cool she greeted them, "Hello Will, my darling, my love, who I left my family and friends for! Hello, Sofia? Sofia, right?"

Sofia simply smiled and tried to scoot away from Will in a way that didn't make it look as if they'd just been in each other's arms. Elizabeth sat down and then it was Jack's turn to speak but he said nothing. Something did not smell right.

They ate, drank and tried to be as polite as possible. But Sofia and Will continued to smile, giggle and glance up at each other with strange looks. Jack had never seen Will _flirt_! Elizabeth was fuming by the time desert had come. Rice pudding... she hated rice pudding...

Through it all Sofia had been the center of attention, Jack's affections belonged to her and he spoke to her with that wit that everyone loved about Jack and Will's hand was always at her thigh. No one's hand was at Elizabeth's thigh and no one was speaking to her with a witty tongue. She would simply need to fix this situation, she had a trik that never failed-

"Will..." she fluttered her eyelashes, "Jack... William.. I... I Can't... Breathe..." she fell off her chair and onto the ground...

-onto the ground.

Eh-hem! Onto the ground!!

She counted a full 8 seconds before either Will or Jack came to her side. And when they did what she heard out of Will's mouth was simply, "Are you even wearing a corset today?"

Sofia was quite proud of Will's performance...


	13. you can help us

Alright lemme just reply 2 some of the reviews cuz I noticed that I never got around to doing that.

-I actually do like keira knightly, I think shes really cool but it just so happened that it was convenient for Elizabeth 2 be and oblivious bytch thus far.

-keep in mind sofia does think that Jack did do something wrong

-woohoo!! Im getting good reviews! (does a happy dance!)

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'_oh Will, yes! There!'_

'_Sofia, you're so good! Oh my, just look at you! Big breasts and all!'_

for reasons unbeknownst to her Elizabeth couldn't get these thoughts out of her head. As she watched Will try to convince Sofia to try rice pudding, actually try to _feed_ her rice pudding all she could manage to think was how she was going to kill him.

"gi...er..thrrr...mm..ow!" Elizabeth grumbled, not able to make full sentences.

"What's that Strumpet?" Jack couldn't contain his laughter. He'd never seen her so mad.

"GIVE ME THAT RUM NOW!"

"Elizabeth, you know you're really not decent when you drink." Will mentioned as he spooned Sofia her first bite of pudding.

"mmm... Will, this is delicious!" Said Sofia

"I know, I love it but since Elizabeth cant stand the stuff I can never have any." He responded, "Thank goodness you're here!"

Sofia had another spoonful.

Elizabeth guzzled another swig.

..._about 45 minutes later..._

"Where's me drink?" asked Jack

"I hiccup!finished it." Answered Elizabeth.

"One more round then!" hollered the Captain.

"Huzzah! More hiccup!drinks!" Liz was overjoyed until she realized that she and Jack were alone at the table. "Where's my William and where's your hiccup!whore?"

"well my whore went to go get us our rum but sofia, I believe, left with your bonnie William minutes ago." Jack answered.

"so we're alone then?" she smiled evily before hiccupping once again.

"I believe we are."

"Then let me see it Jack!" she basically dove into Jack's lap. Elizabeth was intent on getting a good drunken look at his manhood.

..._outside..._

"She really cant control herself cans she?!" Sofia cried as she peered through the window of the pub.

"She is drunk!" Will explained.

"She is a trollop!"

"That too..." he decided not to agrivate Sofia any further. They both watched as Jack and Elizabeth wrestled to the floor. Jack seemed to be laughing while an extremely drunken Elizabeth fumbled and tore at his trousers.

"Looks like we've got to do something more drastic, Mr. Turner. Let's go to the ship and rehearse!"

---

Jack had finally gotten a hold of Elizabeth's arms and was dragging her back to the ship.

"Jack! Ouch! I say Jack—that hurts!" she was stumbling after him to keep up.

"If you'd stop trying t'molest me maybe you wouldn't get hurt."

"Well I can't help it! I want to see it and I always get what I want, Jack."

"Well then, that's no incentive for me to let you go." If they hadn't finally reached Will's ship he would've been tempted to leave her in some pub in Tortuga. She'd fit in fine—even if she wouldn't he didn't care.

Just as Jack thought the night could bring no more surprises he discovered the biggest one of all. There, in the master cabin, where only hours ago he'd thought that Will should find himself a new girl, lay Will Turner and Sofia de Madrid. On the floor. Wrapped in blankets. In each other's arms they slept. As far as he could tell neither of them wore clothes. They _would_ have been picturesque. They _would_ have been beautiful. They _would_ have been 2 angels draped in white sheets holding each other. That's what they _would_ have been had these 2 angels not been a man named Will Turner and a woman Jack called Sofia.

He slumped into a chair and just watched them sleep. Jack closed his eyes and almost fell into a drunken sleep...

"Hello Jack." It was her voice. She was so lovely as he opened his eyes... and then he remembered who lay next to her.

"'ello Sofia." He thought she was being rather calm for someone who was sitting naked on the floor, "would you mind tellin' me why exactly you stopped off to take a nude nap with me mate Will?" who still looked asleep.

"Well, you've had your fun with his little strumpet, so why shouldn't I have my own?" her answer was simple but made no sense to Jack.

"I haven't had any fun at all today so I don't know what makes you think you're entitled to any with Will." Jack was trying to keep his temper in check. It happened to be boiling in his head.

"oh really Jack? Because I'm sure Elizabeth might think differently!!" Sofia was not trying to keep her temper in anything but the open.

"What?!? Is this about her an' me goods?"

"SHE AND YOUR GOODS?!"

"she hasn't seen 'em or anythin', if that's what botherin' you."

"Now you're just being rude..."

"I'm bein' rude? _I _stayed loyal—which is more than I can say fer you." He seemed disgusted. _What gave her the idea that he and Elizabeth..._ Jack didn't even want to think about it,

"Jack, I stayed true to you as well."

"Yes, and I suppose your clothes fell off while you were stayin' loyal and true to ol' Jackie." He was more than skeptical about the idea.

"No, you don't understand, we—Will, stop it and open your eyes--" Will laughed and pushed Sofia. They both seemed unusually comfortable for being naked under those sheets.

"It's true Jack. I never touched her. Sofia thought this whole thing up, she set everything up. Quite a clever one you got here. She reminds me some of Elizabeth." He smiled, "We were just teaching the both of you a lesson."

"Well you can lesson your bonnie lass all ye' want. I don't need no teachin'!" he answered looking very insulted.

"Good!" Sofia said as she got up clad in only a white blanket, bent over and gave Jack a peck at the tip of his nose, "then you can help us!"

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I hope no one's confused or anything. It took me a while to rephrase everything right so it wasn't strange. Review!

ps: what movie/book/anything should i write on next? i wish we cood write fics on queen of the damned n interview with the vampire :(


	14. The Ending

A/N: HEY GUYS! Sniff sniff.... Yes this is the last chapter. I'll find time to

_Dear Jack,_

_It's been almost two years since I saw you last. Our meeting at Tortuga was one I won't soon forget. I am thrilled to hear that Elizabeth and I will be seeing you in less than a month! _

_How has life been treating you, old man? I trust the seas have been good to you and your crew. My regards to all the men, especially Gibbs._

_Jack, I'd like to thank you again for coming to see us when you did. I want you to know that you and Sofia saved our marriage. All her scheming paid off in the end! I must say that when Elizabeth found the three of us in the bed together I almost laughed in her face. There is one question I've always had, though. What was all that talk of me seeing you 'goods' before she did? Both you and my own wife have declined me an answer and I can't say I'll be in good humor if I don't get one._

_Also, is it true that Sofia has refused you her hand in marriage again? She always was a strange one. Intelligent, but still strange. I've never known of a woman to deny the man she loves. After all, I find women are in more of a rush to get married than men are. I may be wrong, though, I find I often am about matters of the heart. Were it up to me I would have let Elizabeth run about forever._

_I miss you both dreadfully. _

_All my love to Sofia,_

_W. Turner_

_PS- I hope Ms. Sofia has taken well to motherhood! I almost forgot about little Jack! My love to him as well. Elizabeth is mad to see him!_

_--- _

Jack put the crumpled paper aside. This was the third time he'd read it; the first two times Gibbs had had to help him through it. Sofia insisted that he'd learned to read and he figured that it could only be to his advantage.

The Captain chuckled at the thought of Will sitting by a desk pondering Sofia's resistence to marry him. The fact was that Jack knew why Sofia had denied him twice already. Jack was a pirate, and pirates never made the best of husbands. She'd confided to Gibbs that she didn't want Jack to feel like he was tied to anything but the sea and his son. There was a time when Jack would have wanted nothing more, but things had changed.

He gazed over at the sleeping baby in the crib. Jack Armand Sparrow (Jr.) was the most amazing little thing his father had ever laid eyes on (the 'Armand' was Sofia's idea). He had all of Jack's features; the jaw, the nose, the thin lips and most of all the unruly hair but he had Sofia's skin and most importantly her dark green eyes. His cheeks were always tinted rosy but kept a bronze color that only Spanish blood could produce. He'd also inherited a dimpled smile that Jack never tired of. He placed a kiss on his son's forehead. Yes, this was his child...

And this woman sleeping in his bed would soon be his wife. She'd changed everything and Jack loved her for it. He was still the same ol' Jackie but she'd given him gifts beyond value. He knew that when he proposed in Tortuga (for the 3rd time) that she'd say yes.

She'd see Will and Elizabeth and Gibbs would be with Jack Jr. and she'd say yes.

He never thought he'd _want_ to wed but this girl... she was something else.

He kissed her lips before he set up to the deck. He would be steering tonight. He was headed straight for Tortuga, and she'd say yes...

_Fin_

Hope you guys liked it. Maybe I'll start a new series featuring Jack and Sofia.. im not sure. Review please!!!


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